Building Trust in Yourself: INTEGRITY

Integrity: You choose courage over comfort. You choose what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. And you choose to practice your values rather than simply professing them. -Brene’ Brown.

In a culture that glorifies comfort and productivity, making the choice to do the hard thing, is not always the easiest choice.  Over time, choosing to put others wants or needs, above our own values, choosing the easy over the hard, is going to limit our trust in ourselves.

For many of my clients, Connection and Relationships, are a primary value of theirs. For many, when: the eating disorder gains more control, the anxious thoughts get more rapid, the depression moves into complete isolation, the fear of failure becomes debilitating, then the ability to choose our values becomes more and more difficult.

Think about it; when your thoughts are constantly running about how terrible of a person you are, how bad of a parent or child you are, how incapable at life you are, or your inability to “adult” the less your thoughts are about giving back, engaging in relationships, or pursing your goals. You simply do not have the energy (physically, mentally, or emotionally) to take the hard route. All this to say, give yourself a moment of compassion here. This is not an easy journey to walk.

I challenge you today to try these steps to re-engage in your integrity:

1- Give yourself compassion :  No one, I repeat no one, chooses the harder values driven option 100% of the time. You are not alone. It is not easy. You are simply human, struggling through very human experiences, that have normal positive and negative consequences.

2- Identify what your values are :  if you don’t know what you value, then how are you going to choose your values. Look into some value explorations online, or ask your therapist for some positive resources. We cannot choose the “right” thing or the “values driven action” if we don’t know what those mean to us.

3- Identify your barriers : take some time to talk with your support system, or your treatment team, about what keeps you from making the next right choice for you. Is it lack of energy? Is it fear of rejection? Is it lack of self-trust? Or fear of retaliation?

4- Make the next right choice : Chose to quit the shame spiral of all the times you didn’t choose the “right” or “values” option. Instead, focus on the next opportunity you have to lean into your values and increase your since of integrity. Sometimes this means choosing to say YES to that self-care day; YES to reading that book your therapist recommended even though you just want to go to bed; or NO to the invite to the bar.