Will I ever like the way I look?

Ever found yourself asking these questions:

Why do i hate the way I look? What makes up “body image”? How do I improve my body image? Will I ever learn to like my body?

YES? Then this post is for you!

There are 4 main influences that come together to create our body image; when these get distorted it impacts are relationship with our body image.

1- Perceptual

Perceptual body image refers to how we actually see our body. When we look at a reflection, is what we see with our eyes reality or a distortion? If what you see if “off'“ from reality this will impact your body image. Think of body dysmorphia at the most extreme of this experience.

Some reasons this distortion may happen are exposure to social media, diet culture, the thin ideal, and marketing as a whole. It could be external stressors, trauma histories, family messaging, fatphobia, or even our own fears of aging.

HOW DO I KNOW IF MY PERCEPTION IS WRONG?

Some signs might be: Confusion when others comment on your body. When shopping, you consistently choose clothes that are multiple sizes away from you actual size. Your thoughts or emotions are altered when you see your reflection

HOW DO IMPROVE DISTORTED BODY IMAGE?

Spend time with your body - stretch, move, acknowledge various parts of your body as “yours”. Saying this is my body, I have a body, its a good body.

Be Curious - What judgements am I making, where do those judgements come from? Are there external stressors in my life that may be interfering? Is there something kind, mindful, or compassionate I can say about my body today? Can I reduce external stressors or exposure to media/triggers that are increasing distortions?

2 - Affective

Affective body image is how you feel about the way you look. It is all the emotions and sensations that come up when you see your reflection or think about your body. It is how satisfied you are with or about your body.

Affective body image can be influenced by a lot of things. The biggest in my opinion are Trauma and Control.

Experiencing Trauma often leaves an unpleasant feeling (emotionally and/or physically) about your body until you find a path to healing and integration.

Experiencing a lack of control in your life can lead you to the false belief that if your body was “better” you would have more control (because marketing says we should be able to control every aspect of our bodies, which we cannot).

What do I DO when I don’t feel good about my body?

Start by acknowledging that you don’t feel good, and that you know feelings are temporary sensations, chemical reactions, NOT FACTS. Consider what may be influencing your negative emotional state that is getting directed towards you body; you may even benefit from identifying ways you DO have control in your life. Create time to do an activity that might shift your mood (change up the music, go for a walk, call a friend that makes you laugh).

3- Cognitive

Cognitive body image is the part of your experience created by what you think and believe towards your body.

For Example: If I believe that my body is disgusting, and I say that over and over again, I am unlikely to see or feel anything differently about my body. I am also more likely to make choices that either validate or at the very least do not counter this belief.
However, If I believe that my body is worthy of respect, I am likely to engage in activities and relationships that see and honor the worth of my body. These experiences and relationships then in turn create more evidence for how worthy and respectable my body is to others and myself.

Well, then what? Just fake it until I make it? Try these curious approaches:

4- Behavioral

Behavioral body image is about how we treat our bodies and how we engage in our life as a result of how we look.

From isolating, declining social dates, yoyo dieting, HIIT and compulsive exercise to restriction, binge eating, orthorexia and so so much more.

All of these behaviors reinforce to our bodies that they are not okay the way they are. That they are not to be trusted and that you are to not be trusted.

There are enough broken relationships and division in the world right now; the one between you and your body does not have to be another!

Let me know your thoughts! If this resonates for you and you want to learn more about working with me as a therapist or coach check out my website: www.melindalericoslpc.com or follow me on instagram www.instagram.com/melinda.lericos_wholeness

Remember; You Matter!